(Originally posted on October 18, 2015) On the last day of Level 1 training with Baron this year, we were asked to write a letter to someone explaining our experience. To write something that would explain how we see yoga and why we do yoga. I wrote the following letter after 6 long, exhausting, powerfully life changing days to myself - to remind me when I needed to come back to my path of why I choose this life. To remind me of what I need to hear when fear starts to get the best of me. I share this with you today:
Yoga is a way of being! I know you may think it is just a funny form of exercise or just a bunch of poses that make you look and feel good, but it is really a powerful practice that will allow you to step into your greatness. My experience at this training was the single most important thing I have done. It is the most important because through yoga this week I learned to take off my mask, drop my filters and get real about all the bullshit I have been holding on to for so long. It hit me hard this week when I realized I hide behind many masks – fear, jealousy, envy, greed, independence, and self-righteousness. I mostly hide because I am so afraid of being truly seen. So afraid that people will see me, the real me and run. Because of this fear I have pushed most people in my life away and caused a lot of carnage and pain. My fear of being unimportant and unseen has come true because I have lived this lie as truth most of my life, making every action I take validate the lie I am telling myself. This week I found my darkest truth, that which I thought about myself – that I am unlovable and thus incapable of giving love.
As of now, this is no longer the lie that I choose to live. This is not MY TRUTH!!! My truth is that I am of love and that is who I really am. I discovered that who I am is my decision to make each day in every moment. Who I am is not an accumulation of my experiences or past stories, nor something someone else can define. I have my stories, we all do, but it is my decision as to whether or not I let them define me and take hold of my life.
So, when you ask yourself again, why yoga? Know that through this physical practice and the community that you are building, you can access your own truth. You can access the person who is already there and choose to free yourself and lead the most authentic life possible.