This week I had someone tell me that "Anger is a trespass on your values." This was a game changer for me. Like, stop and think about that. We often get angry because someone did something that we do not like or agree with. At the heart of this dislike, is a challenge in what you believe in - your core values.
Our values define our way of being, what we say and what we do. Our values drive us passionately towards what we want most, for ourselves and others. Why do you allow others to trespass on this passion? Why do you allow others to take your power away and insert fear and doubt? The fear and doubt that leads us down the reaction of anger. And, who should you really be angry at - them or yourself?
If you notice that the same person keeps sending you into the reaction of anger, thus fear, then there is a value there that you do not agree with. Why do you keep surrounding yourself with this person? Why do you keep putting yourself in the same situation? Better yet, why do you keep getting so angry with someone you obviously do not agree with and thus why do their thoughts and opinions matter so much? Is it possible that being with this person is what is actually challenging your values? That you are creating this situation?
When you feel anger arising, pause and ask yourself, what value is being challenged? Identify it and then see the situation for what it is. Is that person worth the anger? If not, walk away and choose to surround yourself with those who have the same values. If that person is someone you want to keep in your life, then shower them with the value being challenged and let them experience the power of your passion. Maybe they will choose to walk away, maybe they will not. At the end of the day, YOU are what counts and you can live in fear, doubt and anger about what you are a stand for or you can live in joy and passion around what you are a stand for.