Three years ago my father committed suicide. 20 years ago my mother and step-father passed, whether it was an accident, double suicide or suicide-murder, know could really tell us. There are so many unknowns around death, this is why our minds struggle so much with death, we know nothing. All we know is what we learn when it happens.

I turn 40 this year, my mother was 47 when she died, 1 year younger than my husband.  What I know now that I did not know then was that she was young. My father was 64, also very young. Life is what I learned about when death occurred.  That life is an opportunity and one that we take for granted. We spend much of our lives worrying, considering the what ifs, and basically wasting our minutes, hours and days. Stuck in our heads, going round and round with our own conversations, missing the life out there - as it goes by.  Do you every wake up and say, what if this is my last day? What if this is the last thing I do? What if this is the last conversation I have? Did I do my best and am I clear on what I did or what I said? Can you replace your constant, worthless and non-productive worries with something that matters and makes a difference now?

My last conversation with my mother was an argument, where she told me I was hard and unloving.  The last I heard from my dad was a voicemail, one I never returned. I am sure I was worrying about something each of those days. Having conversations with myself that were not true.  Pretty sure that none of those "what ifs" and worries happened. That whatever I was thinking or consumed with was just a story in my head. What did happen was that I missed what was right in front of me. 

Let me be clear, this is not about regret.  Without my experience, my life, I would not be able to share generously and inspire others.  What this is about is an interruption, a disruption, RIGHT NOW! As Baron says "life happens our here, not in our heads". What are you missing?

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