Two nights ago I was sitting at home fighting a major sweat tooth, the battle was difficult and thirty minutes later I got up and went out in the pjs to the store and got ice cream. The lady at the checkout said "it makes me feel good that you have a yoga shirt on and you are buying ice cream."
In conversation I often find that people are surprised to know that I get upset, I feel hurt, I have some very not nice things to say and yes I eat ice cream. That people expect me to be enlightened and have everything together. Here it is.......I do not have anything "together". What I have learned in doing this work, is that not much on the outside of our lives change, it is how we see the world and how we choose to react to it that changes.
Before this work, I get ice cream cravings - I fight it for days - I give in and buy a 1/2 gallon of ice cream - I eat the entire 1/2 gallon - I feel guilty and excessively exercise. Now, craving - stay with it a little to see if is passes, no - buy pint and split it with hubby, enjoy every fucking minute of it and do not give it another thought. Before this work, come up with an idea - perfect the idea - come up with all the ways if can go wrong - imagine how bad it could go - imagine every possible scenario and come up with a plan to avoid it - exhaust myself and decide not to do it or miss the opportunity. Now, come up with idea - DO IT!
It is in the thinking that gets us wrapped up in our apparent "if we have it together". Guess what guys, we all have it together just enough and that enough is perfect. If we did not have it together, we would not still be moving along on this planet. I started to look at how I defined having it together. It used to be all tasks completed perfectly, all emails and phone calls returned, perfect exercise routine, perfect diet, perfect appearance for each person in my life, and so on. And at the end of the day, I was left in feelings of failure, to my own definitions of having it together. Now, if I get to the end of the day and all is well, regardless of what is or is not done, SUCESS!!!
On this particular day, success looked like enjoying my Ben and Jerry's with the hubby while apparently inspiring the lady at the store in a little "it is ok, eat the ice cream." Where can your day not change at all and end in success versus failure just because you shifted your thinking and perceptions?