Baron says, it is when you think you’ve got the pose, it gets you. I feel that this is the best way to sum up heartbreak, it is when you think you’ve got life, the relationship, the job, whatever….it turns around and gets you. What got me recently, heartbreak. You know that tugging at your chest, the lump in your throat and pressure in your head and nose, that is the heartbreak I am talking about. What it really is, is the universe giving you a little reality check. “Hey you, the comfortable, everything is going so well one – here you go, time to check your shit and see what you are made of.”
What I am made of is flesh, bone, muscles, blood and all that good stuff. What I feel is hurt, sad, betrayed, lied to, and overall surprised. Yep, that is what heartbreak feels like to me. It is the stuff that makes you cry in yoga class, even when you are teaching it. It is the stuff that makes you come home at 10pm on a random Monday and drink wine, eat pizza and watch re-runs of Sex and the City until midnight. It is the stuff that makes you wake up at 4am to right blogs.
Most importantly, it is the stuff that allows you to turn to what is most important in your life – community. While I recently discovered what if feels like to be hurt yet again, what the universe was really shifting my attention to are the people in my life that really have my back. The people who cry for me. The people who do not want to leave me alone. The people who return my phone calls late at night. The people willing to eat pizza late at night and watch old TV shows.
I feel like the universe decides to dose out what you need most, when you need it the most. It is looking to get your attention off one thing and onto that which needs you the most. This was it for me – attention shifted. While my eyes and mind have been on people not around, I was missing those who are around. Those who stand by me every day, who feel with and for me, who complete me. Sometimes we are able to see clearly what is important in our lives and other times we are completely ignorant and blind. It is in those times that we need the heartbreaking shift, that we need the universe to slap us in the face and say “wake the fuck up.” Where in your life are you getting that call? Where does your attention need to be shifted? What is possible on the other side of hurt, sad and disappointment? For me, more than a dozen people all their supporting me. For me, more love than I know what to do with.
……..Dedicated (and so super grateful) to my tribe, those who cry with and for me and stand by me in my messiest- I love you all!